Stages
by kountoall
Summary: Sometimes love is not enough no matter how much you love someone it may never be enough. Blaming yourself for not seeing it. The ones closest to someone who ends their life are the ones who need the most help but they don't get it. The stage of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.


Sometimes love is not enough no matter how much you love someone it may never be enough. Blaming yourself for not seeing it. The ones closest to someone who ends their life is the ones who need the most help but they don't get it. The stage of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Most people make it to acceptance and learn to heal. But some can not the pain of losing someone so close and it makes them go off the deep end. The pain never ends for them feeling it was there fault and how dare they be the ones to live with this pain.

Orochimaru loved a man to the point of madness and lose him to his own personally and the harshness he always had. Orochimaru fell in love with a man whose heart and loyalty never left him. But at last, it was not to be.

Orochimaru's love was not enough. Sakumo's heart could not handle the pain of the hate the village gave him and gave up on his life trying to get his honor back ended it all and it hurt Orochimaru to no end.

* * *

It started as a sweet meeting with Orochimaru broken hearted over Jiraiya coming back to everyone loving him but he still had no time for Orochimaru his monster teammate he never quite understood. The villagers still treated him like a demon. But Jiraiya was their champion their hero who can go into the light would be cheered for and loved. Orochimaru will be shamed and exiled for things he did for the village.

Sakumo was a lonely man his son was growing up way too fast for him. Soon his son will not need him and it's a fear that kept Sakumo up at night. With the fear of losing the one thing he loved unconditionally, he left to relax at a bar.

Sakumo saw Orochimaru long before Orochimaru saw him. Even intoxicated or perhaps with it, Orochimaru was a beautiful sight. His long hair swaying at his side. His skin flush with the alcohol. He was in the corner of the bar biting his lip. Sakumo wanted that. Wanted him. Orochimaru was a deadly pretty thing flowing in front of a starving wolf.

Fated love is such a typical cliche but their love was a more arbitrary thing it was on a whim of one man to create this love as it was on a whim of another to destroy it.

* * *

Lingering hands with a hello, a smiles with promises of more, and a look with no fear in his eye as he looked at Orochimaru was all it took for Orochimaru to allow a man into his home. Sakumo didn't waste this chance. Biting with kisses in between. Clothes were thrown everywhere. Orochimaru was exhilarating to Sakumo. The power Orochimaru gave off in his pore. The way he took charge of everything and never gave an inch until he finally backed down and gave himself to Sakumo and Sakumo knew he couldn't do this just once with Orochimaru he was obsessed with the human that Orochimaru was.

The roughness never left Orochimaru if anything he was rougher after he submitted to Sakumo and Sakumo would not have it any other way. They were ninja's not civilians and Sakumo had forgotten how sleeping with a fellow shinobi felt like compared to a civilian. He missed the fighting the pain and how the pleasure just felt sweeter.

Watching Orochimaru arch his back and give out hisses mixed with moans when he hit a certain spot in him. Using Orochimaru's flexibility to move his body in positions to go deeper. Seeing Orochimaru's hair get wilder by the minute and dilated eyes staring daggers into Sakumo daring him to try and stop. It was all so much but at the same time, he wanted more. He wanted to dig a symbol in Orochimaru's skin to lay his claim. He wanted Orochimaru to always think of him and this moment where Orochimaru was his.

Sakumo couldn't will himself away from the lovely thing that was Orochimaru who was sleeping peacefully on his chest. So calm and the prettiest thing Sakumo has ever woke up to. Orochimaru woke up slowly taking the sights of his room where the clothes were in disarray around his usually clean room. His soreness and headache kicking in and how above all he was laying on an equally naked man who was petting his head.

It was conforming to not wake up alone…

Sakumo's presence alone seems to scare off any dark emotions that seem to follow Orochimaru.

"Lovely do you want some tea, a bath, another round, a date. I'm not picky anything as long as I got you."

Sakumo may or may not had a giant snake chase him off as he ran to put on clothes but Sakumo saw it as a success. He saw a twinkle in Orochimaru's eye as Sakumo ran off and he's for sure Orochimaru was checking out his ass. Sakumo was going to annoy Orochimaru for another night or date if he was lucky both until Orochimaru caved. It was going to be perfect and he would be with Orochimaru and nothing could stop him.

* * *

Orochimaru's mission got held up by a week. The border to the land of wind seemed to be highly confrontational. Strange. But as Orochimaru got to the gate. Sakumo was not there greeting his and telling him how wonderful he was. But maybe Sakumo got a last minute mission it would not be the first time this would happen. Orochimaru was gone for a month and a half. The village seemed quiet for midday. Too quiet.

The air which used to hold hidden malice now housed open hostility. The walk to the gate to the Hokage's office felt longer than usual. The Hokage told them of a war being started at the fault at one of their own shinobi to save others. Hokage seemed to be in mourning but not in mourning for a war but mourning about something else.

A fear that Orochimaru was unaccustomed to started to eat away at his stomach. It was worry and panic. Sakumo would stop a mission to save his shinobi's. Sakumo would start a war to save a few. Sakumo was that type of man.

But Sakumo has to be home taking care of his son or on a mission where he will buy Orochimaru something lovely he saw saying it reminded him of Orochimaru. Sakumo who promised to always be there and Sakumo was not one to break a promise right.

After the mission report, Orochimaru when to the Memorial stone if Sakumo's name was not on it he was safe right? Even if he die out of combat what he did for the village alone would put him on there.

As Orochimaru checked the stone and notice Sakumo's name, not on it. A belief of tiny relieve hit him Sakumo was alive. But something still didn't feel right the pain echoing in his heart telling him something bad has happened.

It was a couple more hours till a villager let out what happen the coward Hatake committed suicide not being to handle the pressure of causing the war.

It that civilian when missing well nothing can go back to Orochimaru anyway. But that villager must have been wrong right? Sakumo is still coming home laughing bring joy to Orochimaru's life. He wouldn't leave Orochimaru, would he?

* * *

Sakumo took to stalking Orochimaru anytime he had free time and even took to bribing mission desk chunin to have a mission with Orochimaru. It took a lot for them to agree. But Sakumo finally did it and raced to find the perfect poison to gift to Orochimaru and maybe win his love.

Sakumo loved his village but there were moments when the evilness of its shadows show and he remembers even if this village seems to have a shiny exterior it's a shinobi village. The darkness that always would be there could destroy the ones it sent to protect. The way the village seems to run away from Orochimaru how his own teammates don't want anything to do with him.

Loyalty means nothing when there is no one left to be loyal to.

It was a couple days till the mission to spy on the ongoings of Ame and how Hanzo was doing. The whole way there Sakumo decided it was the perfect place to bug Orochimaru into another date.

First, it was giving Orochimaru a rare poison he bargained for in another village during another mission for this perfect moment. Its coloring seemed to glow a light blue hue and looked stunning reflecting in Orochimaru's eyes as he looked into the present given to him. Orochimaru took it. Maybe he needs that poison or maybe just maybe he was happy just to get a present. A present he hasn't been given in….a long time.

Orochimaru was too beautiful to be real, watching him look at the fire it dancing around him. Running his fingers through his hair as he relaxes just a bit next to Sakumo and Sakumo wished he could put his hands on him again. Sakumo started to bring up scrolls of his old clan that he stills has in his possession. Orochimaru adding in the conversion bring up genetics the Hatake clan tends to have and how Orochimaru would..be intrigued to see them but it was not needed.

Though Orochimaru truly started falling for Sakumo when during the mission they got covered in the blood of their enemies and Sakumo let off a dark chuckle and Orochimaru realized they were closer in personally then one would think.

Sakumo in the moment knew he was fuck, watching Orochimaru destroy enemy nin left and right it's was a sight that shook him to his core and started making him laugh. God was he screwed but with the look in Orochimaru's eye, it looks like he's not the only one getting screwed tonight.

"MUtt if you try grabbing at my ass one more time you're going to find some missing pieces!"

Well, Sakumo can hope.

* * *

Orochimaru sight became white. He felt his blood pumping through his skin. He was alone again. How dare he love again for it to be ruin again. His love was more possession than anything else. Orochimaru did not have in him what others have his love was harsh. Cruel and dark but he still loved Sakumo.

He left him. He chose to leave him. He can't let this happen again. He can't go through this again. HOw dARe hE. Orochimaru is not a damsel who will fall apart because of missing loved ones of a broken heart.

But it doesn't seem right sure Sakumo is dead now but no one did anything to help him just watching him slowly destruct even help him along. Had they not remember the honor he brought to the village. The war he helped win. DiD tHAt mEAn NoTHinG?

How does a man get a mission that when so bad that he did the LOYAL thing and be punished for it and no one saves him? EvEN THOugH he saved so any of them. SOmeOne need to pay SoMEoNE helped pUSh SakUMo off the deep ENd. When Orochimaru finds them theY wiLL WiSH theY never ThOUght To taKe SaKUmo awaY FroM hIM.

It was on this night Orochimaru broke into Danzo's office and found out the truth. Who helped the rumors to take out Sakumo. Who even created the mission that caused this and why this all happen. All over a stupid hat that Orochimaru doesn't even want anymore. It just keeps taking things away from him his sensei, his friend Dan, and now his lover.

It was also on this night Orochimaru killed Danzo and became a missing-nin. It was on this night Orochimaru swore to get back at the Third for turning a blind eye and watched a good man slowly die inside and did nothing. The Third too weak to even try to stop Danzo. Orochimaru will get the Third back even if it took his whole life. Let Sarutobi worry his every move and worry is this day his last and if Orochimaru finally came to end him. That that worry slowly kills him and when he begs Orochimaru will end him.

* * *

"You know what I'm thinking of," Sakumo said has a half awake Orochimaru curled into his body. Twirling Orochimaru's hair has he got comfortable.

"Yes with all my other gifts that I have been bestowed upon. Mind reading came with it." Orochimaru's deadpan face and monotone voice got Sakumo to let out pure laughter.

"Yes yes, silly question but I was thinking if we had a baby. I would want it to have more of your looks. It's just the baby would be so perfect. With my hair color and your texture, it's hair would be bright like a full moon we could call them Mitsuki."

Orochimaru fully laying his head on Sakumo's chest.

"You know I'm not pregnant right?"

Sakumo kissing the top of Orochimaru's head.

"I know it was just a thought. Though if you're willing to keep trying to you do get pregnant I'm more than willing"

Orochimaru smacking Sakumo on the head.

"If you want to have sex just ask"

Sakumo rolling them over with him on top of Orochimaru.

"Oh Lovely but I always want sex with you."

* * *

Orochimaru created his own base near Konoha in the land of fire on the land of the rice fields. Konoha would not expect him to be so close and it's not like the village knew him anyway to find out his true motives. Jiraiya only chased him for so long but gave up when the war got too bad. Figures he was always an afterthought to him anyway. Never cared enough to help him or treat him like a human just enough for his apathy toward Orochimaru to hurt him.

He missed Sakumo so much remembering all the plans Sakumo had for them is just gone. He still wanted to be close to Konoha to plan the defeat the Third and kill him. But another reason he would never say out loud was to keep a close eye on Kakashi that last bit of Sakumo this world had.

Orochimaru looks into everything that happens in Kakashi's life as he did have spies everywhere now that Root wanted a new leader and since Orochimaru killed the last one he somehow became their leader. It didn't take long to notice how much the Uchiha bothered Kakashi. But Orochimaru supposed he could scare the boy later if he tries and hurts Kakashi.

It took a couple of months of planning and stealing equipment but Orochimaru finally had enough of everything to create Sakumo's last dream to come true. Even if Sakumo couldn't be here to see it at least Orochimaru will have something of Sakumo forever with him.

A baby's cry filled the air. He was wrapped in a blanket and had the tiniest puff of light blue hair.

"Hello, Mitsuki Oro is here."

* * *

Blood circulated Kakashi his now best friend was killed in a cave in. He was no more. The idiot who was always late to everything died for him. Died to protect him and with a smile on his face gave Kakashi his eye not Rin but Kakashi a precious reminder of him

Rin crying next to him there Obito is gone with only his eye as a reminder of a boy who had the biggest heart. The Iwa-nin were crowding around them. Kakashi knew he had to fight them off it was there only choice.

Just then there was loud hissing. It was like a curtain of black hair covered the field. Within seconds the nin they were going to have to face were gone.

It was Orochimaru with a child…

Laughter filled the hair it was childlike but dark to dark for a child to have. The child must have been no older than two. Its hair was light blue and seem to have a glow to it.

"Nii-san!" The little boy giggled reaching out for Kakashi. The boy smelled like him...smelled like family.

Orochimaru ran up to Kakashi checking for injuries and before Kakashi could fight him or at least try to do something.

"You're not hurt are you? Where is the other boy the Uchiha boy your crush?"

Orochimaru was not one for subtlety. Even in Kakashi's state of pain and mourning Orochimaru somehow got him to flail and have a coughing fit.

In the end, it was Rin who answered Orochimaru.

"He got caught in a cave in."

Nothing was said on the first question. Orochimaru with a grace no one should have dropped Mitsuki in Kakashi's arms.

"Hold your brother."

Kakashi stared incredulity at Mitsuki seeing the smile on Mitsuki's face so much like his father and remembering his father having a lover who he wanted to kept away from Kakashi something about keeping him all to himself and it made sense. They way people said Orochimaru when crazy was around the same time his father committed suicide. Orochimaru was the lover and now he had a brother who was intent on being as close as possible to him.

Orochimaru was a genius for a reason no matter if there was any obstacle in his way. Orochimaru moved the rocks off of the Uchiha boy and grabbed him from the rubble within minutes from when another Uchiha would try and 'save' him.

With the Uchiha in his arms and Mitsuki filling Kakashi's arm was when Minato appeared.

"Hello, Minato seems like we need a long chat."

Minato came upon a scene he didn't know what to do with. His student was severely hurt in the arms of a missing-nin and another who was also hurt had his arms filled with a child who kept calling him Nii-san.

"Yes, it seems a talk is in order at least."

* * *

Orochimaru hissed and destroyed his base. He couldn't bring Sakumo back the loyal sweet bastard wouldn't want to be brought back with Edo Tensei. He wouldn't want to take someone's life for his own. The selfless bastard! HOw CaN hE cOMe BaCk to hiM tHAT's AlL he WAnts?

Screams of agony and begging filled the room as Orochimaru prayed to any gods he knew for them to bring him back. Orochimaru couldn't handle losing someone else he's already lost so much and now the one person who loved him full heartedly is gone….Forever. There has to be a way to even if all Orochimaru gets is one day more with him that would be enough.

"Please if someone can hear me bring him back to me...Please"

But the only sound was an echo of a heart breaking..

* * *

Though they really wished to talk. But, Minato had to destroy the bridge and finish the mission while Orochimaru took off running with Obito, Kakashi, and Mitsuki on him. Minato may have had a freakout but he has his students marked with Hiraishin if he needs to get there he will be able to.

Obito was in critical condition and Orochimaru's base was closer and Obito needed medical attention fast. A lot of his bones were shattered but having Tsunade on his team and the knowledge she bestowed on him. Orochimaru should be able to save him. Has Orochimaru ran Rin tried to keep up but in the end, she just latched on Orochimaru and got pulled with him like the boys.

It didn't take Orochimaru that long to make it to the base and Obito still had a pulse. Orochimaru can save him and not let Kakashi go what he when through he could do it. He could save someone…but he still couldn't save Sakumo…

Orochimaru put his boys to sleep and told Mitsuki to nap with his brother he needs it which got Mitsuki to giggle gleefully. Has he started to cuddle Kakashi. Who was so exhausted of today's events. He lost an eye, could still lose his best friend and found out his father's lover somehow gave birth to his brother the one who is currently trying to be one with Kakashi.

Rin was taken by Orochimaru as Orochimaru will use her if it means the boy will live. Root Nin crowded around the room feeding Orochimaru chakra if he needed it.

Hours later and a depleted Minato getting to the base. Somehow Orochimaru worked his magic using all the supplies he collected trying to bring Sakumo back. He saved a life. He could almost feel Sakumo around him laughing and laying his hand on his lower back always treading the line to see if he could get a quick tap on Orochimaru's ass. It would always lead to him being chased by Orochimaru but he always said it was worth it.

It was a freeing experience knowing he was doing something Sakumo would want him to do and knew he would be happy. But the sorrow of never seeing his smile was almost too much.

Orochimaru left the room that had Obito who got to keep his limbs though he would still have scars though those could be somewhat fixed with a skin graph.

The eye he got a donor it was quite easy has Danzo had quite a collection and it would be a good use. Kagami didn't deserve to go out like that with his lover's student ending him on his deathbed just for his eyes.

The room was quiet when he went in it had been 12 hours since he started on Obito. Rin barely able to move has chakra exhaustion was kicking in. Kakashi was awake now with a talkative Mitsuki talking a mile a minute at Minato about Konoha in his lap.

All eyes were on him.

"He will live and with some physical therapy he will be better than he was."

* * *

Words are written over his house. Trailor. The pain he was causing Kakashi. The look in his eye that Kakashi gave him asking him why and that he failed.

Failed is that all he gets now? NO love from his own son..no loyalty

Voices in his head telling him to stop and he ruins everything. NO one loves him. NO one needs him. He's a failure. As a father. As a shinobi. As a….lover.

He didn't deserve Orochimaru. Orochimaru deserved the world not a broken man. He's not even back yet...Maybe he knows Sakumo doesn't deserve him. MAybe the voices in his head were right it would be easier for everyone. No would miss him it would be the best. So many people will die because of him. He started this WAR. It's just so crushing to know what you fought against you did to yourself.

Sakumo looking at the family sword on his wall. It would be a remorseful death. Maybe it would give him back some honor he lost. Seppuku...It would be fast if he cut deep enough.

The darkness seemed to feed him. It ate him whole. Would the pain end right with death...right? It wouldn't follow him.

Orochimaru is late he would have been back by the mission now...maybe he heard what Sakumo did and doesn't want to see him. Maybe he loses him too…

Sakumo grabs the family sword.

* * *

Minato sent a bird to tell them of what happened though he did include about Orochimaru and his son/white fang's son. He didn't want to leave his student any longer with Orochimaru and Obito has yet to wake knows Orochimaru knows about the messenger bird but he has yet to say anything and there is these ninja's everywhere who want to help Orochimaru in anything he wants.

It wasn't a quiet day waiting for a message back mostly that was done to Mitsuki wanting to do everything with Kakashi who just wanted to stay by Obito's side. Orochimaru was sipping his tea and staring daggers at Minato.

"Why did you kill Danzo?"

Orochimaru slowly raises his eyebrow. His face showing an expression of Minato being an insect he must step on.

"He caused Sakumo to go off the deep end anything else?"

It was hard for Minato to hear all about an elder of his village was doing. Causing death left and right and Orochimaru the outcast had no one to turn to no one he could trust so by himself he killed the elder and took over his organization…'Accidentally'. He was label a missing nin for doing something for the village for protecting it. The Third Orochimaru seems to think is just as guilty if not more for turning a blind eye to Danzo's misgivings.

Jiraiya always talks about how Orochimaru was always dark and he would always do something like this. But no one even tried to get close to Orochimaru only Sakumo that man held all of Orochimaru's loyalty and when he died Orochimaru lost it and it makes sense. Orochimaru saw the village as a whole as his enemy that took away his love one…

It was so simple the letter saying Orochimaru is still a missing-nin but Konoha will look into the claim for all Orochimaru did this is all he gets a 'we will look into it'. The next time Minato meets Jiraiya he's going to punch him.

But Orochimaru didn't seem to mind. It was like he expected the answer and that hurt Minato more.

It took a couple days for Obito to awaken a couple more to get eat his own pride and allow Kakashi to carry him. Mitsuki started to cry that his brother was going to leave him but Kakashi promised to see him soon and show him some Hatake traditions which got the baby happy again.

They left with the new moon above head fitting a new beginning.

* * *

It took a year of Third stepping down and Minato to become Hokage for Orochimaru to be pardon. It took another year for the third to go missing and never heard from again even if Minato knew it was Orochimaru he could not prove it. After the Third 'left' Orochimaru moved back in with his son and Root still at his beck and call. Mitsuki was so excited to see his brother a lot more even if he had to deal with his Nii-san and Obito's awkward dates.

It was their life. Orochimaru still felt Sakumo's death every day. The hole in his chest that once Sakumo held. The grief never truly leaves.

But has his life on this earth grew shorter he was surrounded by his family. Mitsuki somehow fell in love with a Hyuga. Neji Hyuga to be exact. It was a lovely life and Orochimaru lived it all the way Sakumo would have wanted him to. As he closed his eyes for the last time on this Earth. He opened his eyes somewhere else where a familiar hand reached out.

"Lovely I have been waiting for you."

Notes:

Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed it I love Kudos and comments. I try to answer each one. This started as a way to explain Orochimaru's reason in canon and well I may have got too excited. Thanks to the crackening crew for their support. you'll find me there under Admin Ammy.  
Playlist for this story user/tealpixiedust/playlist/6BAatjABEtRQf0PJy6lDjR  
it influenced me greatly.


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